Age is NOT Just a Number

Good day ladies and gents!

We've all heard it -- Age is just a number. I don't doubt that some people who read this post will believe it as well. I very strongly disagree with this statement though. When it comes to a romantic relationship between two people, age is not just a number.

Now, my standing on this is not backed up by "It's creepy!" I have logical backing as to my stance and why I refuse to date people drastically older than I am.

Psychologists and marriage counselors everywhere will tell you that a good relationship is built on an equal partnership. I don't think its shocking news to anyone that you want to date somebody -- as we kids say nowadays -- "On your level". Otherwise you end up with dependent rather than interdependent relationships, which is an unhealthy sort. The person who is dependent will come to resent the other in the relationship for being "better" than them or for taking care of them.

In order to be on the same page as our significant other, we need to be in the same stage of our life. That's why I find it inappropriate for a high school student to date somebody who is graduated or in college. Transitioning from high school to college is a dramatic shift in one's life. It puts you in a completely different stage of adulthood and responsibility. Once again, we need to be in the same stage and on the same level of progression in our lives.

So then, you may argue, what if two people are on the same level in their lives, but there is still a drastic age gap between them? From my argument, it could still make a good relationship, could it not? The answer to this is that, for a short time, yes it could. But if person A is 20 and person B is 35 and they are in the same place in their lives, then that means person A reached that point 15 years sooner than person B did. Assuming things continue in both their lives as they have previously, which they undoubtedly will, then person A is going to end up bypassing person B at some point, resulting in what was once an interdependent relationship turning into a dependent relationship.

Now, as for what age gap is appropriate depends on the stage you are in in your life. The speed of your progression is much quicker at younger ages than it is when you reach your later years. Past retirement age it can be entirely appropriate to have a 15 year age gap between two lovers, but when in your twenties that's a call for disaster.

That is why age is not just a number, with logical backing. Of course, if you don't want a healthy, good relationship then it is.  I'm not going to even consider giving you guidelines to follow; that is up to your discretion.  But I guarantee, if you want something long term you are going to want to appropriately assess the gap in age.

♥//Brittany