Good afternoon readers!
Todays post is inspired by a conversation I had a while back with someone I used to be friends with. As many of you know, I had a sweet baby boy who was stillborn, and it was undoubtedly the most difficult thing for me to deal with. I'll get more into that situation another day though. This friend and I were discussing how irritating and frustrating it is when some people try to be there for you during the death of a loved one. They come to you saying "I can only imagine what this is like" and "I know you are hurting" when in reality they don't know anything.
Now, I understand that good intentions are there when people say such things. Personally, I feel no anger towards such people. At the same time though, it honestly does nothing for me, which brings me to the point of todays post. Don't fake it. If you want to be there for somebody going through any sort of hard time, offer exactly what you have to offer. Don't try to push for more.
Often times you aren't going to understand what someone else is going through. We each deal with our own set of unique trials. If you happen to have had a very similar experience to somebody else then empathy is exactly what should be offered. Where that is not the case though, don't fake empathy.
Speaking from experience, we often hear the "I'm sorry" statement. I'm just going to be blunt here and say that "I'm sorry" is awkward and uncomfortable. Say what you really mean. When you have no idea what someone is going through it is best to just outright admit that to them. Acknowledge that you don't have any idea what it is like. The best step to take from there is to also acknowledge that you care about them as a person, and you hate to see them in the kind of pain they are in or were in. If you love and care about that person, you don't need to understand what they are going through. Bring to the table exactly what you have to offer -- your love and your concern for their well-being.
Now, if you don't know somebody that well and you don't know what they are going through either, I honestly suggest you keep away from the situation. Morbid curiosity hurts an individual going through something. When its a situation where you hear something horrible happened to a friend of a friend so somebody you know is in one of your classes or a coworker but you've never spoken a word to them in your life, you're mostly likely going to say to yourself "Oh thats awful!" and then forget about it the next day. In that situation, as much as I know you have good intentions, its not a good idea to try to make your business something that is not. If a person doesn't come to you for whatever reason asking you for help and friendship, stay out of it. You don't really have anything to offer, and to fake it will once again make both you and the struggling individual uncomfortable.
I make one exception to my point in that last paragraph. On occasion, there are things you can offer in a situation where you neither know the person nor the situation. Lets say a neighbor had to have their legs amputated for whatever reason, heaven forbid, and they are recovering from the operation. If you feel so inclined to be of service, there's always the stereotypical bringing dinner to them option. You have to be careful upon delivering such service, so as to not cross the line of faking it, but just a simple "hello" and a nice gift is a perfect way to express your acknowledgement of what they are going through.
I apologize if anyone finds offense from this post, but I stand firmly by what I am saying here. I know all too well and I hear all too often from people who are going through things that people really don't know how to handle these kinds of situations. Bring to the table exactly what you have to offer and nothing more. What you have to offer is enough, I promise.
♥//Brittany
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Happy vs Sugarcoated
Good afternoon my dears!
If you follow my posts you are going to see me advocating good attitudes and focusing on the positive frequently. Now, it isn't uncommon for me to be irritated with people who seem to have similar attitudes.
That pretty much sums up those people who irritate me. Thanks Katie, but reality is a lot harsher than that. We all know at least one "Katie". What then differentiates between the Katies of the world from other people with seemingly unfaltering good attitudes? Its all in the sugar.
Those who sugarcoat the world are living and acting in a state of denial. There are a lot of negative things in the world. Horrible things happen to wonderful people on a daily basis. There is pain, there is grieving, there is anger, there are tears. This is something all of us need to recognize and not take for granted. For somebody to start looking at the positive side of life does not take away the hurt immediately. To get to a healthy, positive state of mind takes work and practice, and is honestly a huge accomplishment in the world today where there is so much animosity and negativity.
If you take a good look at people who sugarcoat everything, they are a walking piece of irony. Real happiness doesn't need to be sugarcoated. If you think about sugar coating things in a literal sense, you sugarcoat things that don't taste good, such as medicine as Mary Poppins so memorably points out. All the sugar does though is covers up the bad taste. Contrast that to something that actually tastes good. Lets take... cookies for instance! The cookie has sugar in it, but the cookie tastes good as a whole. It isn't coated in sugar to cover up a bad taste. Of course, if you took individual ingredients of the cookie they wouldn't all taste good on their own. But the finished product is delicious no matter what.
The goal here is to make our lives cookies. There are going to be nasty, bitter things in our lives. Remember though that you make it through and overcome these negative things, and that combined with all the positives, life is actually pretty good. Don't lie to yourself or anyone else and pretend that the negative isn't there. It is. But when you make the most of it, things turn out to be pretty sweet.
♥//Brittany
If you follow my posts you are going to see me advocating good attitudes and focusing on the positive frequently. Now, it isn't uncommon for me to be irritated with people who seem to have similar attitudes.
"In MY world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!"
That pretty much sums up those people who irritate me. Thanks Katie, but reality is a lot harsher than that. We all know at least one "Katie". What then differentiates between the Katies of the world from other people with seemingly unfaltering good attitudes? Its all in the sugar.
Those who sugarcoat the world are living and acting in a state of denial. There are a lot of negative things in the world. Horrible things happen to wonderful people on a daily basis. There is pain, there is grieving, there is anger, there are tears. This is something all of us need to recognize and not take for granted. For somebody to start looking at the positive side of life does not take away the hurt immediately. To get to a healthy, positive state of mind takes work and practice, and is honestly a huge accomplishment in the world today where there is so much animosity and negativity.
If you take a good look at people who sugarcoat everything, they are a walking piece of irony. Real happiness doesn't need to be sugarcoated. If you think about sugar coating things in a literal sense, you sugarcoat things that don't taste good, such as medicine as Mary Poppins so memorably points out. All the sugar does though is covers up the bad taste. Contrast that to something that actually tastes good. Lets take... cookies for instance! The cookie has sugar in it, but the cookie tastes good as a whole. It isn't coated in sugar to cover up a bad taste. Of course, if you took individual ingredients of the cookie they wouldn't all taste good on their own. But the finished product is delicious no matter what.
The goal here is to make our lives cookies. There are going to be nasty, bitter things in our lives. Remember though that you make it through and overcome these negative things, and that combined with all the positives, life is actually pretty good. Don't lie to yourself or anyone else and pretend that the negative isn't there. It is. But when you make the most of it, things turn out to be pretty sweet.
♥//Brittany
Monday, November 24, 2014
Take Control - Don't Let Life Get You Down
Hello my wonderful readers!
This post I think I'm writing mostly for me, but hopefully you can benefit from it as well.
It seems every time things are on the up and up in my life, something happens to make it seem as though that pattern is coming to a screeching halt and everything is going to go negatively from there forward. When things don't go ideally I find myself getting depressed and discouraged about everything.
Letting these things get to me though has a negative impact on my life. First of all, in letting all the little things get to me, I am failing to appreciate everything that has been going right for me previous to any let down. I need to be grateful for what I have going for me, and recognize that just because something little went wrong doesn't mean that everything which went right is gone.
Now, that is important just for our emotional and mental well being. Recognizing that there are still good things in our lives, even when something goes wrong, will simply make us happier people. More importantly though, we need to have a better attitude for things to continue going on the up and up despite the disappointment.
When you let that little disappointment really get to you, it causes discouragement and depression, as I had mentioned regarding myself at the beginning of this post. Discouragement and depression hinder our ability and motivation to keep moving forward, to keep trying, and to keep doing what will help us progress on a day to day basis. In short, when we get discouraged because something went wrong, a lot of other things in our life will start falling apart and going wrong simply because of our attitude.
Life is hard, I know. Don't let it knock you down though! Control your life; don't let it control you.
photo used from http://www.success.com/article/take-control-of-your-life
♥//Brittany
This post I think I'm writing mostly for me, but hopefully you can benefit from it as well.
It seems every time things are on the up and up in my life, something happens to make it seem as though that pattern is coming to a screeching halt and everything is going to go negatively from there forward. When things don't go ideally I find myself getting depressed and discouraged about everything.
Letting these things get to me though has a negative impact on my life. First of all, in letting all the little things get to me, I am failing to appreciate everything that has been going right for me previous to any let down. I need to be grateful for what I have going for me, and recognize that just because something little went wrong doesn't mean that everything which went right is gone.
Now, that is important just for our emotional and mental well being. Recognizing that there are still good things in our lives, even when something goes wrong, will simply make us happier people. More importantly though, we need to have a better attitude for things to continue going on the up and up despite the disappointment.
When you let that little disappointment really get to you, it causes discouragement and depression, as I had mentioned regarding myself at the beginning of this post. Discouragement and depression hinder our ability and motivation to keep moving forward, to keep trying, and to keep doing what will help us progress on a day to day basis. In short, when we get discouraged because something went wrong, a lot of other things in our life will start falling apart and going wrong simply because of our attitude.
Life is hard, I know. Don't let it knock you down though! Control your life; don't let it control you.
♥//Brittany
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Spiritual Sunday: Christ Really Loves You
Happy Sunday my readers!
Sundays are quickly becoming my favorite days to write. I'm always too timid to participate in church discussions and such, but I feel like I have so much to share in my testimony! For those who haven't read my first Spiritual Sunday post, I beg that you go back and read the first two paragraphs of it before continuing in this post. They are just my little disclaimers regarding any and all spiritual related posts I make.
Earlier this week I was driving from my morning job to my evening job and I remembered something. To be completely honest, I have absolutely no idea where my mind was at the time. I recalled in the story of Christ's crucifixion that, as He hung on the cross, He said "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34 in the KJV)
Now, lets take a moment to consider who Christ was asking forgiveness for. These are the people who nailed him to a cross. Realize that likewise, these people had the opportunity to learn of the gospel of Christ. They knew of His miracles, and undoubtedly had heard about his teachings. They had the opportunity to convert. Yet Christ stilled asked for them to be forgiven, recognizing that they really didn't really know what they were doing.
One reason this was a big deal to me was because, as I had mentioned, these people had the opportunity to convert. I feel like Latter Day Saints often subconsciously (or maybe consciously, but I'm giving you all the benefit of the doubt here) look down on people who are familiar with the church and choose not to convert. Are we not supposed to try our hardest to be like Christ though? And in that case, should we not love these people as Christ does? If we truly believe that our church is the correct one, we should follow in Christ's example by recognizing that, simply because people have heard some of the teachings of our church does not mean that they know better!
The other reason this was a big deal is because it shows just how much Christ loves each and every one of us. I personally can't even grasp the concept of how much I would have to love someone for me to want them to be forgiven after crucifying me! From my experience, we focus a lot on how Christ forgives the man on the cross next to him, but we fail to recognize exactly how much forgiveness was being given during this entire process. I've made a ton of mistakes throughout my lifetime, some of which were drastic enough for me to think to myself, God has given up on me because I have given up on him. That whole attitude is something I'll come back to in the future, but I just wanted to emphasize to you all that no matter who you are or what you've done, Christ loves you. Nothing I've done or you've done will block you or I from that love.
If you ever begin to doubt His love, do me a favor and re-read that story. You haven't crucified Him after all. If He can forgive those who put Him on the cross, I guarantee He can and will forgive you.
Have a lovely rest of the week, and please never forget this!
♥//Brittany
Sundays are quickly becoming my favorite days to write. I'm always too timid to participate in church discussions and such, but I feel like I have so much to share in my testimony! For those who haven't read my first Spiritual Sunday post, I beg that you go back and read the first two paragraphs of it before continuing in this post. They are just my little disclaimers regarding any and all spiritual related posts I make.
Earlier this week I was driving from my morning job to my evening job and I remembered something. To be completely honest, I have absolutely no idea where my mind was at the time. I recalled in the story of Christ's crucifixion that, as He hung on the cross, He said "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34 in the KJV)
Now, lets take a moment to consider who Christ was asking forgiveness for. These are the people who nailed him to a cross. Realize that likewise, these people had the opportunity to learn of the gospel of Christ. They knew of His miracles, and undoubtedly had heard about his teachings. They had the opportunity to convert. Yet Christ stilled asked for them to be forgiven, recognizing that they really didn't really know what they were doing.
One reason this was a big deal to me was because, as I had mentioned, these people had the opportunity to convert. I feel like Latter Day Saints often subconsciously (or maybe consciously, but I'm giving you all the benefit of the doubt here) look down on people who are familiar with the church and choose not to convert. Are we not supposed to try our hardest to be like Christ though? And in that case, should we not love these people as Christ does? If we truly believe that our church is the correct one, we should follow in Christ's example by recognizing that, simply because people have heard some of the teachings of our church does not mean that they know better!
The other reason this was a big deal is because it shows just how much Christ loves each and every one of us. I personally can't even grasp the concept of how much I would have to love someone for me to want them to be forgiven after crucifying me! From my experience, we focus a lot on how Christ forgives the man on the cross next to him, but we fail to recognize exactly how much forgiveness was being given during this entire process. I've made a ton of mistakes throughout my lifetime, some of which were drastic enough for me to think to myself, God has given up on me because I have given up on him. That whole attitude is something I'll come back to in the future, but I just wanted to emphasize to you all that no matter who you are or what you've done, Christ loves you. Nothing I've done or you've done will block you or I from that love.
If you ever begin to doubt His love, do me a favor and re-read that story. You haven't crucified Him after all. If He can forgive those who put Him on the cross, I guarantee He can and will forgive you.
Have a lovely rest of the week, and please never forget this!
♥//Brittany
Friday, November 21, 2014
TGIF: For Your FYI....
So uh, I figured it would be to my benefit to lighten up once a week on my posts. I go into these long, serious rants every day and I think our brains could use a little break every once in a while. We are going to call these my TGIF posts, cause Friday is the day to lighten up for the weekend!
Also, I'm not going to be posting on Saturdays. My Saturdays are way too hectic without my downtime at work to write, so its going to be my day off instead.
As a final little pre-thought, this one is specifically for my lovely friends on TINDER! Yes, I have a Tinder. No, I am not ashamed. For anyone reading from there, I am Nikki and Brittany. This is something I think I might actually address in a later post, but for the very short while I was up at Brigham Young University - Idaho, I had decided I wanted to become a completely new person in college and I started going by Nikki instead. When I moved back here to Utah where I grew up though, everyone already knew me as Brittany and I simply gave up on trying to go by my middle name instead. Now you can all stop asking me about that. (;
Now that that's out of the way...
These posts are mostly just going to be me letting the world know how much of an idiot I am, and every once in a while you might hear about how much of an idiot everyone else is as well. You may not appreciate my ridiculous stories, and that's fine. I'm going to share them anyway and pretend that some people do!
So um. Redundancy. Way back in junior high, I was walking into school in the morning when I saw a girl walk up to someone I assumed was her boyfriend, and she yelled at him "FOR YOUR FYI..." At this point in my life, I have no idea what she said after that. All I could think was "for your for your information!" and I laughed to myself at her stupidity.
I'm sure she's a very intelligent person. We all have our idiotic moments.
Take one of mine for example. So I work a lot, debatably too much. Before I started working my current full time job, I knew that I would have a work schedule of 8 am to 8 pm every weekday in the very near future, so I filled my schedule with as many dates as I could possibly manage knowing my social life would soon die. I had a lunch date scheduled with a guy one day right after my part time morning job, and that morning I was running late so I had failed to eat breakfast. Thanks to that, I was starving by the time I got home from work, and I decided I was going to attempt to eat a hard boiled egg before my date showed up.
With my luck being the way it is, I was really struggling with this egg. Every little tiny piece of shell refused to let go of the egg it surrounded and my peeling process became borderline violent as I attempt to get this done before my date. Although I did eventually get all of the shell (and part of the outer layer of the egg) off, I'd say the egg won this war. The doorbell rang as soon as I ripped off the last bit.
I was so hungry, and I had already gone through the over-the-top pain of peeling the egg, so in a panic I shoved the entire thing in my mouth and ran in a circle around the kitchen and living room in a panic. Don't ask me why I thought this was a good idea.
It probably wasn't even that long of a period of time that my date was waiting, but it felt like forever and I was in a state of almost hysteria over the situation I had gotten myself into. So, I did what any reasonable human being would do in my situation.
I attempted to swallow the egg whole.
I couldn't breathe anymore. Go figure. I was choking and I swear my life flashed before my eyes. I opened the door to greet my date while gasping for breath and coughing up a storm. Everything was a blur after that as I attempted to both keep my life and not die by egg, as well as greet my date and not keep him waiting. Really, I don't know why this kid put up with me. I proceeded to choke on that little devil of an egg all the way to where we were going for lunch. He probably should have dumped me on the side of the road in recognition that I am uncivilized swine.
Anyway, the moral of the story is, I panic way too much over trying to do everything right regarding dates and sometimes I need to just chill before I die by egg.
I'll save the rest of my stupidity for later TGIF posts. Aren't you excited?
Have a wonderful weekend, all!
♥//Brittany
Also, I'm not going to be posting on Saturdays. My Saturdays are way too hectic without my downtime at work to write, so its going to be my day off instead.
As a final little pre-thought, this one is specifically for my lovely friends on TINDER! Yes, I have a Tinder. No, I am not ashamed. For anyone reading from there, I am Nikki and Brittany. This is something I think I might actually address in a later post, but for the very short while I was up at Brigham Young University - Idaho, I had decided I wanted to become a completely new person in college and I started going by Nikki instead. When I moved back here to Utah where I grew up though, everyone already knew me as Brittany and I simply gave up on trying to go by my middle name instead. Now you can all stop asking me about that. (;
Now that that's out of the way...
These posts are mostly just going to be me letting the world know how much of an idiot I am, and every once in a while you might hear about how much of an idiot everyone else is as well. You may not appreciate my ridiculous stories, and that's fine. I'm going to share them anyway and pretend that some people do!
So um. Redundancy. Way back in junior high, I was walking into school in the morning when I saw a girl walk up to someone I assumed was her boyfriend, and she yelled at him "FOR YOUR FYI..." At this point in my life, I have no idea what she said after that. All I could think was "for your for your information!" and I laughed to myself at her stupidity.
I'm sure she's a very intelligent person. We all have our idiotic moments.
Take one of mine for example. So I work a lot, debatably too much. Before I started working my current full time job, I knew that I would have a work schedule of 8 am to 8 pm every weekday in the very near future, so I filled my schedule with as many dates as I could possibly manage knowing my social life would soon die. I had a lunch date scheduled with a guy one day right after my part time morning job, and that morning I was running late so I had failed to eat breakfast. Thanks to that, I was starving by the time I got home from work, and I decided I was going to attempt to eat a hard boiled egg before my date showed up.
With my luck being the way it is, I was really struggling with this egg. Every little tiny piece of shell refused to let go of the egg it surrounded and my peeling process became borderline violent as I attempt to get this done before my date. Although I did eventually get all of the shell (and part of the outer layer of the egg) off, I'd say the egg won this war. The doorbell rang as soon as I ripped off the last bit.
I was so hungry, and I had already gone through the over-the-top pain of peeling the egg, so in a panic I shoved the entire thing in my mouth and ran in a circle around the kitchen and living room in a panic. Don't ask me why I thought this was a good idea.
It probably wasn't even that long of a period of time that my date was waiting, but it felt like forever and I was in a state of almost hysteria over the situation I had gotten myself into. So, I did what any reasonable human being would do in my situation.
I attempted to swallow the egg whole.
I couldn't breathe anymore. Go figure. I was choking and I swear my life flashed before my eyes. I opened the door to greet my date while gasping for breath and coughing up a storm. Everything was a blur after that as I attempted to both keep my life and not die by egg, as well as greet my date and not keep him waiting. Really, I don't know why this kid put up with me. I proceeded to choke on that little devil of an egg all the way to where we were going for lunch. He probably should have dumped me on the side of the road in recognition that I am uncivilized swine.
Anyway, the moral of the story is, I panic way too much over trying to do everything right regarding dates and sometimes I need to just chill before I die by egg.
I'll save the rest of my stupidity for later TGIF posts. Aren't you excited?
Have a wonderful weekend, all!
♥//Brittany
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Thank You All!!
My dears and my darlings!
I'd like to thank all my lovely readers and those of you who have shared this blog with your own family and friends, whether via Facebook or other means. And a very special thanks to all my Tinder-ites! I really didn't think anyone even read my profile description on there, much less bothered to go to my blog! You are all the greatest! I had disappeared for a year from when I had originally decided to do this, and I only have started things back up for less than a week now! We came to a whopping 88 page views yesterday and honestly, that's a lot more than I thought I could achieve! At this point, 100 page views in a day seems incredibly reachable, which is exhilarating to me. Its not much yet, but with all of your support it will be soon! So thank you all again for that. I definitely owe you!
Please continue to share what you like, and I'd love to see more comments and discussion. You are all wonderful, lovely people and I thank you all for the millionth time.
Much love to you from me!
♥//Brittany
I'd like to thank all my lovely readers and those of you who have shared this blog with your own family and friends, whether via Facebook or other means. And a very special thanks to all my Tinder-ites! I really didn't think anyone even read my profile description on there, much less bothered to go to my blog! You are all the greatest! I had disappeared for a year from when I had originally decided to do this, and I only have started things back up for less than a week now! We came to a whopping 88 page views yesterday and honestly, that's a lot more than I thought I could achieve! At this point, 100 page views in a day seems incredibly reachable, which is exhilarating to me. Its not much yet, but with all of your support it will be soon! So thank you all again for that. I definitely owe you!
Please continue to share what you like, and I'd love to see more comments and discussion. You are all wonderful, lovely people and I thank you all for the millionth time.
Much love to you from me!
♥//Brittany
Age is NOT Just a Number
Good day ladies and gents!
We've all heard it -- Age is just a number. I don't doubt that some people who read this post will believe it as well. I very strongly disagree with this statement though. When it comes to a romantic relationship between two people, age is not just a number.
Now, my standing on this is not backed up by "It's creepy!" I have logical backing as to my stance and why I refuse to date people drastically older than I am.
Psychologists and marriage counselors everywhere will tell you that a good relationship is built on an equal partnership. I don't think its shocking news to anyone that you want to date somebody -- as we kids say nowadays -- "On your level". Otherwise you end up with dependent rather than interdependent relationships, which is an unhealthy sort. The person who is dependent will come to resent the other in the relationship for being "better" than them or for taking care of them.
In order to be on the same page as our significant other, we need to be in the same stage of our life. That's why I find it inappropriate for a high school student to date somebody who is graduated or in college. Transitioning from high school to college is a dramatic shift in one's life. It puts you in a completely different stage of adulthood and responsibility. Once again, we need to be in the same stage and on the same level of progression in our lives.
So then, you may argue, what if two people are on the same level in their lives, but there is still a drastic age gap between them? From my argument, it could still make a good relationship, could it not? The answer to this is that, for a short time, yes it could. But if person A is 20 and person B is 35 and they are in the same place in their lives, then that means person A reached that point 15 years sooner than person B did. Assuming things continue in both their lives as they have previously, which they undoubtedly will, then person A is going to end up bypassing person B at some point, resulting in what was once an interdependent relationship turning into a dependent relationship.
Now, as for what age gap is appropriate depends on the stage you are in in your life. The speed of your progression is much quicker at younger ages than it is when you reach your later years. Past retirement age it can be entirely appropriate to have a 15 year age gap between two lovers, but when in your twenties that's a call for disaster.
That is why age is not just a number, with logical backing. Of course, if you don't want a healthy, good relationship then it is. I'm not going to even consider giving you guidelines to follow; that is up to your discretion. But I guarantee, if you want something long term you are going to want to appropriately assess the gap in age.
♥//Brittany
We've all heard it -- Age is just a number. I don't doubt that some people who read this post will believe it as well. I very strongly disagree with this statement though. When it comes to a romantic relationship between two people, age is not just a number.
Now, my standing on this is not backed up by "It's creepy!" I have logical backing as to my stance and why I refuse to date people drastically older than I am.
Psychologists and marriage counselors everywhere will tell you that a good relationship is built on an equal partnership. I don't think its shocking news to anyone that you want to date somebody -- as we kids say nowadays -- "On your level". Otherwise you end up with dependent rather than interdependent relationships, which is an unhealthy sort. The person who is dependent will come to resent the other in the relationship for being "better" than them or for taking care of them.
In order to be on the same page as our significant other, we need to be in the same stage of our life. That's why I find it inappropriate for a high school student to date somebody who is graduated or in college. Transitioning from high school to college is a dramatic shift in one's life. It puts you in a completely different stage of adulthood and responsibility. Once again, we need to be in the same stage and on the same level of progression in our lives.
So then, you may argue, what if two people are on the same level in their lives, but there is still a drastic age gap between them? From my argument, it could still make a good relationship, could it not? The answer to this is that, for a short time, yes it could. But if person A is 20 and person B is 35 and they are in the same place in their lives, then that means person A reached that point 15 years sooner than person B did. Assuming things continue in both their lives as they have previously, which they undoubtedly will, then person A is going to end up bypassing person B at some point, resulting in what was once an interdependent relationship turning into a dependent relationship.
Now, as for what age gap is appropriate depends on the stage you are in in your life. The speed of your progression is much quicker at younger ages than it is when you reach your later years. Past retirement age it can be entirely appropriate to have a 15 year age gap between two lovers, but when in your twenties that's a call for disaster.
That is why age is not just a number, with logical backing. Of course, if you don't want a healthy, good relationship then it is. I'm not going to even consider giving you guidelines to follow; that is up to your discretion. But I guarantee, if you want something long term you are going to want to appropriately assess the gap in age.
♥//Brittany
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Follow Your Dreams
Good day my dears!
But of course, that is all silly nonsense, now isn't it?
Chances are you have shot yourself down for years, telling yourself you can't be one of those people. Its almost like the famous YouTubers, the musicians, the actors are a completely different species. Here's a newsflash for you though -- they're not. These people are just as average and normal as you are (except for the few who have gone a little crazy... but that came after the fame). With that knowledge, you have to ask yourself what it is that is holding you back. I bet the only answer to that, is you.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am by no means telling you that you'll have immediate success upon starting to pursue your dreams. I mean, take a look at me with my measly following on this blog! Robert F. Kennedy once said, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” Each of us will run into failure, but the more times we do, the closer we come to success. To fall flat on our faces when reaching for something we want and love is a hard blow to take. Trust me, I know all too well. When we get back on our feet and keep trying though, we will eventually come to a point of success.
All that being said, we do need to be realistic. As much of a dreamer as I may be, I am painfully aware of reality. After internalizing Kennedy's words, the next step we all need to take is to turn our dreams into goals. A dream involves results which are out of our control, but a goal is completely in our control and therefore reasonably reachable.
I'm not going to lecture you on what makes a goal a goal and how to set them. I'm sure you heard it a million times in High School, as I know I did. I will though tell you to set one. Take that dream you gave up on. Assess what is in your control regarding it, and then set a goal accordingly. Pursue it with everything you have, and when you inevitably fall flat on your face, read that quote to yourself. Don't be afraid to ask others for help, and don't be afraid to get back up on your feet and try again. I have faith in you. Just remember that the only thing differentiating you from the actors, the webfamous, the CEOs of the world is the determination to try.
Photo from http://quotesnsmiles.com/picture-quotes/images-29-dream-big-picture-quotes/
♥//Brittany
Take a brief walk down memory lane with me. Think back to that dream you once had of being a rockstar, or of being a famous artist. Can you feel that fire that it started inside you? Do you remember that burning flame of happiness and determination and drive for what you wanted deep inside?
Chances are you have shot yourself down for years, telling yourself you can't be one of those people. Its almost like the famous YouTubers, the musicians, the actors are a completely different species. Here's a newsflash for you though -- they're not. These people are just as average and normal as you are (except for the few who have gone a little crazy... but that came after the fame). With that knowledge, you have to ask yourself what it is that is holding you back. I bet the only answer to that, is you.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am by no means telling you that you'll have immediate success upon starting to pursue your dreams. I mean, take a look at me with my measly following on this blog! Robert F. Kennedy once said, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” Each of us will run into failure, but the more times we do, the closer we come to success. To fall flat on our faces when reaching for something we want and love is a hard blow to take. Trust me, I know all too well. When we get back on our feet and keep trying though, we will eventually come to a point of success.
All that being said, we do need to be realistic. As much of a dreamer as I may be, I am painfully aware of reality. After internalizing Kennedy's words, the next step we all need to take is to turn our dreams into goals. A dream involves results which are out of our control, but a goal is completely in our control and therefore reasonably reachable.
I'm not going to lecture you on what makes a goal a goal and how to set them. I'm sure you heard it a million times in High School, as I know I did. I will though tell you to set one. Take that dream you gave up on. Assess what is in your control regarding it, and then set a goal accordingly. Pursue it with everything you have, and when you inevitably fall flat on your face, read that quote to yourself. Don't be afraid to ask others for help, and don't be afraid to get back up on your feet and try again. I have faith in you. Just remember that the only thing differentiating you from the actors, the webfamous, the CEOs of the world is the determination to try.
♥//Brittany
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Don't be Lazy -- Stand for Something
Good afternoon my dears!
I felt it necessary to discuss this subject today because I feel it goes hand in hand with my post from yesterday, as I had briefly mentioned. On that note, lets jump right into the heart of todays post.
You know how the saying goes; you got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything. Standing for something seems to have become a negative quality in todays society, as made manifest by the things I discussed in my post yesterday. It seems that if you stand for what you believe rather than caving in to someone else's beliefs, you are considered "close minded", "uncivilized", or "hateful". This is a vastly inappropriate attitude to have toward people who stand for their beliefs, and equally inappropriate for us as individuals to fear this attitude.
Here's the thing -- you can't please everyone. If you attempt to, you are going to end up being incredibly fickle and in the end, nobody will be happy with you because they won't even know where your loyalty will lie from one day to the next.
Now I'm not suggesting you legitimately be close minded. Take the time to assess all the facts of a situation and form your own opinion regarding it. Once you form that opinion though, stand by it no matter what! Don't change your mind simply because that is the socially or politically correct thing to do. When you take a stand for what you believe, in the long run even people who disagree with one opinion or another will come to respect you, and be more inclined to agree with you on other matters. It establishes that you are a person of integrity, and people will trust you because they will know that when you make a decision and form an opinion, you stand by that no matter what.
In addition to all of that, having different sets of beliefs and opinions is what creates a healthy balance in our society. It creates a world where we can continue to grow and progress and build on each other. If we let ourselves meld into one generic type of person, we are preventing that societal growth.
It doesn't matter what you choose to stand for. Just choose something, form a standard of beliefs and opinions regarding things in your life. You don't have to agree with some, or any of what I believe; but believe in something, and stand for that in all circumstances you come across.
Please remember to be respectful of others in what they stand for though! Respect is equally important to taking a stand. With both of these things in mind we can have a healthier society.
♥//Brittany
I felt it necessary to discuss this subject today because I feel it goes hand in hand with my post from yesterday, as I had briefly mentioned. On that note, lets jump right into the heart of todays post.
You know how the saying goes; you got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything. Standing for something seems to have become a negative quality in todays society, as made manifest by the things I discussed in my post yesterday. It seems that if you stand for what you believe rather than caving in to someone else's beliefs, you are considered "close minded", "uncivilized", or "hateful". This is a vastly inappropriate attitude to have toward people who stand for their beliefs, and equally inappropriate for us as individuals to fear this attitude.
Here's the thing -- you can't please everyone. If you attempt to, you are going to end up being incredibly fickle and in the end, nobody will be happy with you because they won't even know where your loyalty will lie from one day to the next.
Now I'm not suggesting you legitimately be close minded. Take the time to assess all the facts of a situation and form your own opinion regarding it. Once you form that opinion though, stand by it no matter what! Don't change your mind simply because that is the socially or politically correct thing to do. When you take a stand for what you believe, in the long run even people who disagree with one opinion or another will come to respect you, and be more inclined to agree with you on other matters. It establishes that you are a person of integrity, and people will trust you because they will know that when you make a decision and form an opinion, you stand by that no matter what.
In addition to all of that, having different sets of beliefs and opinions is what creates a healthy balance in our society. It creates a world where we can continue to grow and progress and build on each other. If we let ourselves meld into one generic type of person, we are preventing that societal growth.
It doesn't matter what you choose to stand for. Just choose something, form a standard of beliefs and opinions regarding things in your life. You don't have to agree with some, or any of what I believe; but believe in something, and stand for that in all circumstances you come across.
Please remember to be respectful of others in what they stand for though! Respect is equally important to taking a stand. With both of these things in mind we can have a healthier society.
♥//Brittany
Monday, November 17, 2014
Accepting vs Understanding and Respecting
Good day readers!
Opinions are a funny thing. They drive us as human beings and we tend to make a big deal of them, which is where this post comes in. We tend to make too big of a deal of them.
So I'd like to go into details on this side of this subject, but there's a bit more to this and I'm going to go into that at a later date -- ideally, tomorrow.
So now that I've got that out of the way, lets jump into today's rant.
We are individuals and we are all different. This is something that is terribly important to understand about the world, and something we hear all the time. Therefore, we have our own set of opinions and ideals as for how things should or shouldn't be, and that is how things should be. It would be highly unfortunate if we didn't! I'll jump into that a bit more tomorrow though.
The thing about that is we likewise need to recognize that other people have their own sets of ideals, and they will differ from ours. We all know that, and we run into that as we see arguments on FaceBook and among that group of people sitting in a corner booth at a restaurant. One of the places I see it most -- and am bothered by it, to be entirely honest -- is in politics. It is too apparent that we have a difficult time as a people in grasping the concept that not everybody is like us.
So I'm not going to jump into politics and how things should or shouldn't be in the government. Rather I'm going to advocate peace among everyone of any belief in spelling out the difference between accepting another's beliefs and understanding and respecting their beliefs.
Lets start with respecting each other and our beliefs. I constantly see demands for respect and understanding of beliefs. Lets take a look at what exactly is being requested here though. To respect something, according to good ol' Webster, is "to have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of". To be understanding is "to be sympathetically aware of other people's feelings; tolerant and forgiving". Both of these are very reasonable things to expect from other people. Seeing other people's sides of things is yet another thing we'll save for another day (I'm really excited about that one actually) but it shouldn't be too complicated for us to not disregard and therefore disrespect other's points of view. Taking the time to understand another side of a situation makes it that much easier to avoid disregarding it.
Notice though, that in neither definition is the term "to agree" used. Think about all the people who request understanding and respect for their beliefs. It is often that they are desiring much more than simple respect and understanding. From what I've seen throughout my lifetime, it seems that what people really want is for people to accept their beliefs. Turning to Webster once more, the definition of the word "accept" is "to believe or come to recognize as valid or correct". There is a big difference between accepting something and respecting something. I can understand and respect your beliefs without embracing them, and you can do the same for mine.
If person A supports gay rights and person B does not, both parties should be able to get along and act peacefully and respectfully toward one another without agreeing. Once again, people will disagree with our ideals. That doesn't make them any less of a person. There is no need for contention when one party asks for understanding and the other person understands, but does not accept.
Stand for what you believe in, whatever that may be; but don't rip others down for standing for what they believe. Take some time to really internalize the difference between understanding and respecting what a person believes rather than accepting it. And next time you have the desire to accuse somebody of being disrespectful or not understanding because they don't have the same beliefs as you, reconsider.
Just remember we're all different, and that's okay!
♥//Brittany
Opinions are a funny thing. They drive us as human beings and we tend to make a big deal of them, which is where this post comes in. We tend to make too big of a deal of them.
So I'd like to go into details on this side of this subject, but there's a bit more to this and I'm going to go into that at a later date -- ideally, tomorrow.
So now that I've got that out of the way, lets jump into today's rant.
We are individuals and we are all different. This is something that is terribly important to understand about the world, and something we hear all the time. Therefore, we have our own set of opinions and ideals as for how things should or shouldn't be, and that is how things should be. It would be highly unfortunate if we didn't! I'll jump into that a bit more tomorrow though.
The thing about that is we likewise need to recognize that other people have their own sets of ideals, and they will differ from ours. We all know that, and we run into that as we see arguments on FaceBook and among that group of people sitting in a corner booth at a restaurant. One of the places I see it most -- and am bothered by it, to be entirely honest -- is in politics. It is too apparent that we have a difficult time as a people in grasping the concept that not everybody is like us.
So I'm not going to jump into politics and how things should or shouldn't be in the government. Rather I'm going to advocate peace among everyone of any belief in spelling out the difference between accepting another's beliefs and understanding and respecting their beliefs.
Lets start with respecting each other and our beliefs. I constantly see demands for respect and understanding of beliefs. Lets take a look at what exactly is being requested here though. To respect something, according to good ol' Webster, is "to have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of". To be understanding is "to be sympathetically aware of other people's feelings; tolerant and forgiving". Both of these are very reasonable things to expect from other people. Seeing other people's sides of things is yet another thing we'll save for another day (I'm really excited about that one actually) but it shouldn't be too complicated for us to not disregard and therefore disrespect other's points of view. Taking the time to understand another side of a situation makes it that much easier to avoid disregarding it.
Notice though, that in neither definition is the term "to agree" used. Think about all the people who request understanding and respect for their beliefs. It is often that they are desiring much more than simple respect and understanding. From what I've seen throughout my lifetime, it seems that what people really want is for people to accept their beliefs. Turning to Webster once more, the definition of the word "accept" is "to believe or come to recognize as valid or correct". There is a big difference between accepting something and respecting something. I can understand and respect your beliefs without embracing them, and you can do the same for mine.
If person A supports gay rights and person B does not, both parties should be able to get along and act peacefully and respectfully toward one another without agreeing. Once again, people will disagree with our ideals. That doesn't make them any less of a person. There is no need for contention when one party asks for understanding and the other person understands, but does not accept.
Stand for what you believe in, whatever that may be; but don't rip others down for standing for what they believe. Take some time to really internalize the difference between understanding and respecting what a person believes rather than accepting it. And next time you have the desire to accuse somebody of being disrespectful or not understanding because they don't have the same beliefs as you, reconsider.
Just remember we're all different, and that's okay!
♥//Brittany
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Spiritual Sunday: The Importance of God in Relationships
Hello dears!
I'm introducing something to my blog I'd like to call my Spiritual Sunday posts. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as most of you should know, and a lot of my strong opinions are centered around my religion. In general I try to gear my posts towards anyone of any religion (or as the case may be, lack thereof), but these posts are the exception to that. With that being said, I beg that if you disagree with my religion you be mature and respectful of these posts.
As another disclaimer, its been said time and again that the church is perfect but the members of it are not. Once again, these are my beliefs, and I try to establish my beliefs on scriptures and teachings of our living prophets, but I am in no way claiming to be perfect and you may not agree with what I say. I'd love to discuss such disagreements with anyone, and I do apologize in advance if I say something inappropriate in representation of my religion for whatever reason.
For today, I'd like to address the importance of God in relation to our intimate relationships. I'm somebody who would prefer to have logical back-up for my spiritual beliefs, which is the glory of the LDS religion, if you ask me. It makes sense on a logical level, if you do your research.
A few weeks ago I was sitting in Relief Society in my family ward, and our discussion was on prayer. Its been my belief for a while now that the vast majority of us treat prayer inappropriately, but the details of that I will save for another week. On that note though, I kept thinking to myself, when we pray we need to treat God as our best friend. He understands each and every one of us perfectly after all. He has even felt every bit of pain and anguish we've gone through and will go through, thanks to the gift of the atonement. As a fairly timid individual I never vocalized this in class, but another lady stood up at some point and said essentially the same thing I had been thinking.
I appreciate this woman more than she'll ever realize though, because as she vocalized these thoughts with her own voice, I had an epiphany. I realized that is exactly why God is a necessary part to a good relationship.
We had been taught in seminary at one point that God was a key part to any good relationship and we were shown a triangle regarding that, similar to the one pictured here.
We were then taught, as seen in the triangle, that the closer a couple is to God, the closer they are to each other. At the time I accepted this with an open heart and mind, but this epiphany hit me as to why this is the case.
As mentioned before, God understands each and every one of us perfectly. That being the case, he know of all our intentions, our desires, our strengths, our weaknesses. He likewise understands the best way to communicate with us to help us to grow to our full potential. That means he understands you that way as well as your significant other.
Take a moment to let that sink in.
On our own, it is impossible to understand our significant other perfectly. We simply don't have the capacity to do so. If we have a close relationship with God though, we can understand our significant so much better. God can take everything that our partner is thinking and feeling, desiring to communicate with us, and translate it for us into a way that we can understand perfectly. If our partner should so desire, God can do the same for them. That's is one of the big reasons a close relationship with God is vital to our intimate relationships.
It is my belief that, with this in mind, we could prevent conflict and contention in our relationships if we can just maintain a close relationship with our Father in Heaven and remember him when there is a threat of contention.
And the best part about this? This applies to all of our intimate relationships, including those with our children! By no means should we expect children to be able to grasp this concept immediately, but we can teach them and lead by example with our marriage, and it is necessary that we at least keep up our end of the deal! God will guide us as parents to know how to best teach our children, if we constantly turn to him regarding this matter, and he will help us to understand how they think and feel as well.
In conclusion, I suggest -- No, I challenge each and every one of you to take the time to turn to God next time there is a disagreement between you and the people you are closest to in your life. I really think it would be hugely beneficial to implement this in our lives.
And, perhaps its silly for me to request this, but if you have any experiences regarding implementing this (or failing to, as the case may be) please share! I'd love to hear how my theories do or don't work, seeing as I'm both single and have no living children.
Have a lovely rest of the day, and thank you for reading!
♥//Brittany
I'm introducing something to my blog I'd like to call my Spiritual Sunday posts. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as most of you should know, and a lot of my strong opinions are centered around my religion. In general I try to gear my posts towards anyone of any religion (or as the case may be, lack thereof), but these posts are the exception to that. With that being said, I beg that if you disagree with my religion you be mature and respectful of these posts.
As another disclaimer, its been said time and again that the church is perfect but the members of it are not. Once again, these are my beliefs, and I try to establish my beliefs on scriptures and teachings of our living prophets, but I am in no way claiming to be perfect and you may not agree with what I say. I'd love to discuss such disagreements with anyone, and I do apologize in advance if I say something inappropriate in representation of my religion for whatever reason.
For today, I'd like to address the importance of God in relation to our intimate relationships. I'm somebody who would prefer to have logical back-up for my spiritual beliefs, which is the glory of the LDS religion, if you ask me. It makes sense on a logical level, if you do your research.
A few weeks ago I was sitting in Relief Society in my family ward, and our discussion was on prayer. Its been my belief for a while now that the vast majority of us treat prayer inappropriately, but the details of that I will save for another week. On that note though, I kept thinking to myself, when we pray we need to treat God as our best friend. He understands each and every one of us perfectly after all. He has even felt every bit of pain and anguish we've gone through and will go through, thanks to the gift of the atonement. As a fairly timid individual I never vocalized this in class, but another lady stood up at some point and said essentially the same thing I had been thinking.
I appreciate this woman more than she'll ever realize though, because as she vocalized these thoughts with her own voice, I had an epiphany. I realized that is exactly why God is a necessary part to a good relationship.
We had been taught in seminary at one point that God was a key part to any good relationship and we were shown a triangle regarding that, similar to the one pictured here.
We were then taught, as seen in the triangle, that the closer a couple is to God, the closer they are to each other. At the time I accepted this with an open heart and mind, but this epiphany hit me as to why this is the case.
As mentioned before, God understands each and every one of us perfectly. That being the case, he know of all our intentions, our desires, our strengths, our weaknesses. He likewise understands the best way to communicate with us to help us to grow to our full potential. That means he understands you that way as well as your significant other.
Take a moment to let that sink in.
On our own, it is impossible to understand our significant other perfectly. We simply don't have the capacity to do so. If we have a close relationship with God though, we can understand our significant so much better. God can take everything that our partner is thinking and feeling, desiring to communicate with us, and translate it for us into a way that we can understand perfectly. If our partner should so desire, God can do the same for them. That's is one of the big reasons a close relationship with God is vital to our intimate relationships.
It is my belief that, with this in mind, we could prevent conflict and contention in our relationships if we can just maintain a close relationship with our Father in Heaven and remember him when there is a threat of contention.
And the best part about this? This applies to all of our intimate relationships, including those with our children! By no means should we expect children to be able to grasp this concept immediately, but we can teach them and lead by example with our marriage, and it is necessary that we at least keep up our end of the deal! God will guide us as parents to know how to best teach our children, if we constantly turn to him regarding this matter, and he will help us to understand how they think and feel as well.
In conclusion, I suggest -- No, I challenge each and every one of you to take the time to turn to God next time there is a disagreement between you and the people you are closest to in your life. I really think it would be hugely beneficial to implement this in our lives.
And, perhaps its silly for me to request this, but if you have any experiences regarding implementing this (or failing to, as the case may be) please share! I'd love to hear how my theories do or don't work, seeing as I'm both single and have no living children.
Have a lovely rest of the day, and thank you for reading!
♥//Brittany
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Emotional Independence
Hello my darlings.
Its been over a year since I posted on here and I thought it was high time I changed that.
A lot has happened in this past year, a lot which is very difficult for me to deal with on a day to day basis. What I have become and what I am becoming is a dramatic shift from what I could have ever possibly imagined when I was on my way to Brigham Young University - Idaho last year. I was re-watching the first season of Sherlock the other day and it struck me how Watson's psychiatrist suggests he write a blog to deal with his issues. I decided to take this to heart, in attempt to better deal with everything. Rather than barfing out a summary of my experiences, if you bother to follow this you'll find out over time what sort of things I've dealt with. I've learned a lot, thankfully, and I have many bits of wisdom to share with those of you who are smarter than I and are willing to learn from the mistakes of others rather than taking the hard route.
So, here's your first little blurb about what I've learned and, to be honest, am still learning.
I've become very much into reading leadership/management/self-help books, and one of my favorites is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I recall reading of the importance of independence in order to have the capacity to be interdependent. As I had been reading of this is all made sense to me and I thought to myself, "Yes, this is truth!"
But, let me be completely honest with you, I didn't take it to heart. Mentally I was fully aware of what was needed; I was even conscious of the fact that emotionally I was still lacking in independence. It was too difficult for me to emotionally accept that though, and therefore I did not act on it. Subconsciously I was convincing myself that I could jump straight from dependence to interdependence.
Long story short, within the past few months I've had a plethora of two week flings with fellows who I fell much too hard for, and its completely torn me apart. Everybody who interacts with me regularly doesn't take me seriously anymore when I say "I just met this amazing guy and I think this could really go somewhere." and to be honest? I don't blame them. Its ripped apart my self-esteem and I don't take myself seriously either. Despite the negative outlook of everyone even remotely involved though, I took the time to really assess the situation and figure out what exactly it was that was causing the problem. What it came down to, as you already know, is the lack of emotional independence on my end.
At this point, I know I need to be sure of who I am. I rely too much on what others think of me, and I need a much higher dose of self confidence in my life. I'd say to you as my readers that it is likewise of utmost importance to you as well. Take some time to look at yourself and assess exactly how strong your self confidence is. If all of your friends and your significant other turned on you and there was nothing left but yourself and whatever spiritual figure you may or may not believe in, would you still be happy? Would you know yourself and your strengths well enough to take every negative thing said or done to you with a grain of salt?
As a final thought, we all struggle with things, and no matter how much self confidence you have, there will be days which are difficult for whatever reason. It is my belief that another key part of having self confidence is having the strength to ask for help, without fear of what others may think of your struggles, nor fear of rejection. There's a vast difference between being closed off and alone, and being independent. True independence ultimately leads to interdependence, as briefly mentioned before.
I'll be posting much more frequently now, so please do follow!
♥//Brittany
Its been over a year since I posted on here and I thought it was high time I changed that.
A lot has happened in this past year, a lot which is very difficult for me to deal with on a day to day basis. What I have become and what I am becoming is a dramatic shift from what I could have ever possibly imagined when I was on my way to Brigham Young University - Idaho last year. I was re-watching the first season of Sherlock the other day and it struck me how Watson's psychiatrist suggests he write a blog to deal with his issues. I decided to take this to heart, in attempt to better deal with everything. Rather than barfing out a summary of my experiences, if you bother to follow this you'll find out over time what sort of things I've dealt with. I've learned a lot, thankfully, and I have many bits of wisdom to share with those of you who are smarter than I and are willing to learn from the mistakes of others rather than taking the hard route.
So, here's your first little blurb about what I've learned and, to be honest, am still learning.
I've become very much into reading leadership/management/self-help books, and one of my favorites is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I recall reading of the importance of independence in order to have the capacity to be interdependent. As I had been reading of this is all made sense to me and I thought to myself, "Yes, this is truth!"
But, let me be completely honest with you, I didn't take it to heart. Mentally I was fully aware of what was needed; I was even conscious of the fact that emotionally I was still lacking in independence. It was too difficult for me to emotionally accept that though, and therefore I did not act on it. Subconsciously I was convincing myself that I could jump straight from dependence to interdependence.
Long story short, within the past few months I've had a plethora of two week flings with fellows who I fell much too hard for, and its completely torn me apart. Everybody who interacts with me regularly doesn't take me seriously anymore when I say "I just met this amazing guy and I think this could really go somewhere." and to be honest? I don't blame them. Its ripped apart my self-esteem and I don't take myself seriously either. Despite the negative outlook of everyone even remotely involved though, I took the time to really assess the situation and figure out what exactly it was that was causing the problem. What it came down to, as you already know, is the lack of emotional independence on my end.
At this point, I know I need to be sure of who I am. I rely too much on what others think of me, and I need a much higher dose of self confidence in my life. I'd say to you as my readers that it is likewise of utmost importance to you as well. Take some time to look at yourself and assess exactly how strong your self confidence is. If all of your friends and your significant other turned on you and there was nothing left but yourself and whatever spiritual figure you may or may not believe in, would you still be happy? Would you know yourself and your strengths well enough to take every negative thing said or done to you with a grain of salt?
As a final thought, we all struggle with things, and no matter how much self confidence you have, there will be days which are difficult for whatever reason. It is my belief that another key part of having self confidence is having the strength to ask for help, without fear of what others may think of your struggles, nor fear of rejection. There's a vast difference between being closed off and alone, and being independent. True independence ultimately leads to interdependence, as briefly mentioned before.
I'll be posting much more frequently now, so please do follow!
♥//Brittany
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