The Circumstance -- Now Playing in 3D

Hey folks!

Don't close this post just yet simply because I said folks. I'd be tempted to myself, seeing as that word just grinds on my brain, but I needed I little variety in my opening.

3D movies seem to be all the rage nowdays. I remember when they were a special, "cool" experience, and now practically everything is initially released in 3D. I mean, we even have 3D televisions for heavens sake. So why do we watch 3D movies? Its for a fuller experience.

This reminds me of something my dad had told me when I was still living at home. Every circumstance that you are in is like a box. Depending on the angle you are looking at the box, you can easily see one or two sides of it, but that's it. The challenge is to try to see the opposite side of the box, the one completely out of your view initially.

Situations are not two dimensional, metaphorically speaking. There is another side completely out of our view, and it would be beneficial to us and everyone around us if we took the time to assess the situations we are in and take on the challenge of seeing the other side of the box.  Lets use an example -- you are in a situation at work where you feel your boss treats you poorly. He/She is always bitter and rarely encouraging, and punishes you for things they don't fairly prepare you to deal with.  That is the side of the box you can see, but what about the other side? Perhaps they are dealing with a lot of pressure from their boss, or worse yet some personal issues. Perhaps its a bit of both. When you come to understand their side of the box though, it is easier to act in patience. You realize that, in their shoes, you would most likely act the same way. Perhaps you already have been to your fellow co-workers, or other people in your life. It give a fuller, more appropriate understanding of the situation. A fuller experience, like the 3D movies.

So, as a little challenge for you, next time you are in any sort of situation -- especially one where negative emotions are present, but any situation will do -- Try to see the other side of the box.

picture courtesy of http://www.clipartist.net/

♥//Brittany

Definition of "You": Whatever YOU want.

Hello my darlings!

I'm going to start this post by saying I'm a huge geek. I absolutely love comics, specifically Batman comics, and I'm particularly fond of Knightfall. Now, I know Bane is a villain, but I draw strength from the fact that he chooses to determine exactly what his life is going to be. I don't see perfection the same way he does, but I admire how he decides exactly what he wants to be and what he wants to do and he does exactly that, despite the fact that all the odds are against him.

Now, before I jump further into this, I'd like everyone reading this to know I'm going to be brutally blunt in this post. If we have had less than pleasant encounters in the past, it may come up here. I by no means hold anything against any of you.

So, it occurred to me today that I've been holding myself back in my own life. I've been through a lot of difficult things in my life, and I've been letting the entirety of it hold me back. To a certain extent I've taken control and not let things get me down, at least on the surface, but in my head I've let it all consume me. I've been leaning on excuses and saying "That's just the way I am because of my past." That's not the case though. That's the way I am because that's the way I think I am. Now, I know this all sounds a little cliché. You determine your attitude, you determine who you are. I've heard it my entire life and you may have as well. I want to let you all know that its entirely true though. As odd as it is, reading Knightfall really helped me visualize and internalize this concept.

Take a moment to assess who you would like to be. Now, I'm not referring to your profession or your accomplishments. I'm referring to you, on the inside. What kind of qualities would you like to have? Would you like to be more outgoing? Would you like to be a better leader? Would you like to be more emotionally stable? Really assess every little detail of what the ideal you would be like. Now, when you've finished, ask yourself why you're not this way.

I'm going to use myself as an example here. I haven't been emotionally stable for quite some time. Ideally, I'd like to be. Why have I not been emotionally stable then? Its because of the way I was raised. I was raised in a home with too much contention and too high of expectations. There were harsh words spoken by several different family members, and it really effected me.

That's all just an excuse though.

Yes, it all really effected me, but only because I let it. I am not defined by my past; I am defined by myself. If I want to be emotionally stable, then it is my decision to be so. Realizing I have the power within me to be whatever I want is one of the first steps in this process. Its no different for any one of us. Yes, there are things in this world that are out of our control. Who we are is not one of them though. We each have complete power over our own personalities, character, and attitude.

Take each and everyone one of those reasons that you aren't the way you want to be and say to yourself, this has no power over me. Be the person you want to be.

Now, before I close this post, I'd like to acknowledge that this won't always be as simple as it sounds. Old habits definitely die hard. I only ask that every time you start to feel that memory of a past experience or emotion take control of you, you personify that event or emotion and you let it know that it has no power over you, because it doesn't. You can do it. I can do it. Now lets all be exactly who we want to be.

Picture from http://d.gr-assets.com/quotes/1398289428p8/318997.jpg

 

♥//Brittany

Bullying Feat. Thumper

Hello darlings!

I've found that I don't always have the time to be writing a blog post every day. Things have picked up quite a bit at work and I find myself too busy.

Despite that, I do have the time today.

Today I would like to address bullying. Its such an over-addressed subject, in all honesty, and yet nothing seems to change. We need to all be kind to each other, no matter what the circumstance. Being rude and demeaning to others will never bring us happiness. It is proven time and time again that our personal happiness can be found in being of service to others.

A week ago I went and saw the movie "Interstellar" with a friend of mine. This movie was by far the best I've seen in years. In part of it, a robot says his honesty setting is 90% and the characters ask why that is. The robot then responds:

Absolute honesty isn't always the most diplomatic nor the safest form of communication with emotional beings.

Sometimes, 100% honesty is the wrong approach to take when talking to someone. I am by no means advocating lying to somebody. That is likewise the wrong approach. The correct approach to take will often be focusing on the positive though. We need to uplift and encourage each other. Of course each and every one of us makes mistakes and has things that we can do better, but we don't need to point those out. It is an effective and efficient approach to focus on what has been done right and what goals can be set instead. For those of you who have read my previous posts, I had written one on the vicious cycle  of negativity hindering our progression. In that post I was specifically talking about ripping ourselves down, but it is just as applicable to other people. When somebody is struggling, us ripping them down is just going to make them struggle more and hinder their ability to grow and progress beyond the trial.

Another thing I would like to address regarding bullying is the response we have to bullying. I've noticed that often, when bullying occurs, people will respond to it by.... bullying. The irony is real. Two wrongs don't make a right, and bullying a bully is once again not going to help them progress and improve.

I'm going to close this post with a cliché we need to stop taking for granted. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Gif used from https://31.media.tumblr.com/7a9220f249a717c85c9348818a4eab18/tumblr_mslgrx21X61s4omozo1_500.gif

Now lets get out there and make the world a better place!

♥//Brittany

Don't Fake It

Good afternoon readers!

Todays post is inspired by a conversation I had a while back with someone I used to be friends with. As many of you know, I had a sweet baby boy who was stillborn, and it was undoubtedly the most difficult thing for me to deal with. I'll get more into that situation another day though. This friend and I were discussing how irritating and frustrating it is when some people try to be there for you during the death of a loved one. They come to you saying "I can only imagine what this is like" and "I know you are hurting" when in reality they don't know anything.

Now, I understand that good intentions are there when people say such things. Personally, I feel no anger towards such people. At the same time though, it honestly does nothing for me, which brings me to the point of todays post. Don't fake it. If you want to be there for somebody going through any sort of hard time, offer exactly what you have to offer. Don't try to push for more.

Often times you aren't going to understand what someone else is going through. We each deal with our own set of unique trials. If you happen to have had a very similar experience to somebody else then empathy is exactly what should be offered. Where that is not the case though, don't fake empathy.

Speaking from experience, we often hear the "I'm sorry" statement. I'm just going to be blunt here and say that "I'm sorry" is awkward and uncomfortable. Say what you really mean. When you have no idea what someone is going through it is best to just outright admit that to them. Acknowledge that you don't have any idea what it is like. The best step to take from there is to also acknowledge that you care about them as a person, and you hate to see them in the kind of pain they are in or were in. If you love and care about that person, you don't need to understand what they are going through. Bring to the table exactly what you have to offer -- your love and your concern for their well-being.

Now, if you don't know somebody that well and you don't know what they are going through either, I honestly suggest you keep away from the situation. Morbid curiosity hurts an individual going through something. When its a situation where you hear something horrible happened to a friend of a friend so somebody you know is in one of your classes or a coworker but you've never spoken a word to them in your life, you're mostly likely going to say to yourself "Oh thats awful!" and then forget about it the next day. In that situation, as much as I know you have good intentions, its not a good idea to try to make your business something that is not. If a person doesn't come to you for whatever reason asking you for help and friendship, stay out of it. You don't really have anything to offer, and to fake it will once again make both you and the struggling individual uncomfortable.

I make one exception to my point in that last paragraph. On occasion, there are things you can offer in a situation where you neither know the person nor the situation. Lets say a neighbor had to have their legs amputated for whatever reason, heaven forbid, and they are recovering from the operation. If you feel so inclined to be of service, there's always the stereotypical bringing dinner to them option. You have to be careful upon delivering such service, so as to not cross the line of faking it, but just a simple "hello" and a nice gift is a perfect way to express your acknowledgement of what they are going through.

I apologize if anyone finds offense from this post, but I stand firmly by what I am saying here. I know all too well and I hear all too often from people who are going through things that people really don't know how to handle these kinds of situations. Bring to the table exactly what you have to offer and nothing more. What you have to offer is enough, I promise.

♥//Brittany

Happy vs Sugarcoated

Good afternoon my dears!

If you follow my posts you are going to see me advocating good attitudes and focusing on the positive frequently. Now, it isn't uncommon for me to be irritated with people who seem to have similar attitudes.

"In MY world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!"

That pretty much sums up those people who irritate me. Thanks Katie, but reality is a lot harsher than that. We all know at least one "Katie". What then differentiates between the Katies of the world from other people with seemingly unfaltering good attitudes? Its all in the sugar.

Those who sugarcoat the world are living and acting in a state of denial. There are  a lot of negative things in the world. Horrible things happen to wonderful people on a daily basis. There is pain, there is grieving, there is anger, there are tears. This is something all of us need to recognize and not take for granted. For somebody to start looking at the positive side of life does not take away the hurt immediately. To get to a healthy, positive state of mind takes work and practice, and is honestly a huge accomplishment in the world today where there is so much animosity and negativity.

If you take a good look at people who sugarcoat everything, they are a walking piece of irony. Real happiness doesn't need to be sugarcoated. If you think about sugar coating things in a literal sense, you sugarcoat things that don't taste good, such as medicine as Mary Poppins so memorably points out. All the sugar does though is covers up the bad taste. Contrast that to something that actually tastes good. Lets take... cookies for instance! The cookie has sugar in it, but the cookie tastes good as a whole. It isn't coated in sugar to cover up a bad taste. Of course, if you took individual ingredients of the cookie they wouldn't all taste good on their own. But the finished product is delicious no matter what.

The goal here is to make our lives cookies. There are going to be nasty, bitter things in our lives. Remember though that you make it through and overcome these negative things, and that combined with all the positives, life is actually pretty good. Don't lie to yourself or anyone else and pretend that the negative isn't there. It is. But when you make the most of it, things turn out to be pretty sweet.

♥//Brittany

Take Control - Don't Let Life Get You Down

Hello my wonderful readers!

This post I think I'm writing mostly for me, but hopefully you can benefit from it as well.

It seems every time things are on the up and up in my life, something happens to make it seem as though that pattern is coming to a screeching halt and everything is going to go negatively from there forward. When things don't go ideally I find myself getting depressed and discouraged about everything.

Letting these things get to me though has a negative impact on my life. First of all, in letting all the little things get to me, I am failing to appreciate everything that has been going right for me previous to any let down. I need to be grateful for what I have going for me, and recognize that just because something little went wrong doesn't mean that everything which went right is gone.

Now, that is important just for our emotional and mental well being. Recognizing that there are still good things in our lives, even when something goes wrong, will simply make us happier people. More importantly though, we need to have a better attitude for things to continue going on the up and up despite the disappointment.

When you let that little disappointment really get to you, it causes discouragement and depression, as I had mentioned regarding myself at the beginning of this post. Discouragement and depression hinder our ability and motivation to keep moving forward, to keep trying, and to keep doing what will help us progress on a day to day basis. In short, when we get discouraged because something went wrong, a lot of other things in our life will start falling apart and going wrong simply because of our attitude.

Life is hard, I know. Don't let it knock you down though! Control your life; don't let it control you.

photo used from http://www.success.com/article/take-control-of-your-life

♥//Brittany

Spiritual Sunday: Christ Really Loves You

Happy Sunday my readers!

Sundays are quickly becoming my favorite days to write. I'm always too timid to participate in church discussions and such, but I feel like I have so much to share in my testimony! For those who haven't read my first Spiritual Sunday post, I beg that you go back and read the first two paragraphs of it before continuing in this post. They are just my little disclaimers regarding any and all spiritual related posts I make.

Earlier this week I was driving from my morning job to my evening job and I remembered something. To be completely honest, I have absolutely no idea where my mind was at the time. I recalled in the story of Christ's crucifixion that, as He hung on the cross, He said "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34 in the KJV)

Now, lets take a moment to consider who Christ was asking forgiveness for. These are the people who nailed him to a cross. Realize that likewise, these people had the opportunity to learn of the gospel of Christ. They knew of His miracles, and undoubtedly had heard about his teachings. They had the opportunity to convert. Yet Christ stilled asked for them to be forgiven, recognizing that they really didn't really know what they were doing.

One reason this was a big deal to me was because, as I had mentioned, these people had the opportunity to convert. I feel like Latter Day Saints often subconsciously (or maybe consciously, but I'm giving you all the benefit of the doubt here) look down on people who are familiar with the church and choose not to convert. Are we not supposed to try our hardest to be like Christ though? And in that case, should we not love these people as Christ does? If we truly believe that our church is the correct one, we should follow in Christ's example by recognizing that, simply because people have heard some of the teachings of our church does not mean that they know better!

The other reason this was a big deal is because it shows just how much Christ loves each and every one of us. I personally can't even grasp the concept of how much I would have to love someone for me to want them to be forgiven after crucifying me! From my experience, we focus a lot on how Christ forgives the man on the cross next to him, but we fail to recognize exactly how much forgiveness was being given during this entire process. I've made a ton of mistakes throughout my lifetime, some of which were drastic enough for me to think to myself, God has given up on me because I have given up on him. That whole attitude is something I'll come back to in the future, but I just wanted to emphasize to you all that no matter who you are or what you've done, Christ loves you. Nothing I've done or you've done will block you or I from that love.

If you ever begin to doubt His love, do me a favor and re-read that story. You haven't crucified Him after all. If He can forgive those who put Him on the cross, I guarantee He can and will forgive you.

Have a lovely rest of the week, and please never forget this!

♥//Brittany